Christmas has always been my absolute favorite! I decorate everything (well, before having toddler’s)! Christmas carols, nativity scenes, gift shopping, wrapping, giving, even Santa. I love Christmas and can’t get enough of it! I am that person who leaves my tree up until my husband makes me take it down.

This year though, I have struggled “getting into the Christmas spirit”. I’ve only watched a couple of Christmas movies and haven’t even been gift shopping, except for the boys and Jason. We didn’t do a Christmas card this year, that will be in the form of our adoption announcement in February. Christmas gifts will be coming from EE with us.

And now that it is Christmas Eve day, my heart is very heavy. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to celebrate the birth of our Savior with my family. I am looking forward to seeing the boys faces when they open their gifts tomorrow and see Santa tonight. I will enjoy reading about the birth of Jesus, the shepherds and Wise Men with my boys in the morning. But a huge piece of my heart is in Eastern Europe with a beautiful little girl who is spending her last Christmas as an orphan.

Last Christmas as an orphan! Our baby girl is celebrating her last holiday in the only home she has ever known and with the only “family” she has ever known. In just a few weeks she will be with her forever family!

I wonder what her Christmas will look like. Has she received the gift we sent? Will she see Santa? Will she hear the Christmas story? Will she have Christmas cookies or treats? I so very much wish we could be there in person with her! Soon, so soon, my baby will be in my arms.

So if you see me with tears in my eyes or a strained smile know that I am in two places this year. And pray for our Ruthie and all the other orphans who are celebrating Christmas without their forever families. May 2016 bring lots of new families!


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